The Week of D R A M A

I spent the entire week away, apart from Saturday because my fitness class was at the beach bar.

The first few days were the hardest… Tuesday & Wednesday were full of drama…

I asked him again if he was seeing this new girl, and he didn’t reply. So of course I asked our mutual friend, but before I do, I tell him that it would be stupid for me to ask other people…He didn not respond to that.

She says yes, they are and asks why… But then says you and he had something? She had no idea! I thought maybe she knew but wasn’t sure… So I give her the entire story briefly and she is a bit shocked coz she says that she thinks they are close.

  • Basically she told me that she would never get involved with a guy like him.
  • That he isn’t boyfriend material
  • That this girl is leaving in 2 weeks

and we talked about some other things, but really it’s all unimportant now.

So since I was on my summer holiday and had a break from work, I actually managed to find a new paradise beach escape where I spent the entire week away. It was exactly what I needed.

He texted me after he talked to this mutual friend, and basically we had a fight over texts. He said it was none of my business and that I am not his family and don’t need to know. I said of course it’s my business when we agreed to start seeing each other again and then he changed plans and didn’t let me know it wasn’t gonna happen. I told him and our friend, that if you aren’t interested, you just inform the other person that you met someone new and that, that is the adult thing to do and not a big deal. Once I spoke to our mutual friend, I was over it. He didn’t let it go, and was fussing over texts…

In his last messages he asked why I was telling people things, and why am saying things that aren’t true and asked what my problem was and told me that I am embarrassing him in front of everyone. I was over it, so I ignored him and did not reply. But my inner thoughts were why wasn’t he telling people the truth and what the heck is his problem acting like a manchild and not an adult, but again I was over it so whatever. After some days and time away I finally replied last night:

All good, all behind us
Don’t wanna fight w you, not worth it

He has a girl, he is supposed to be happy, so he should leave me alone now.

cant see you

Anyways I spent all week away and I wasn’t alone. I was in good company and it was exactly what I needed. On Friday I started getting this anger just thinking about seeing him tomorrow at the beach bar…

On Saturday I was there for my Zumba class and I saw him at the bar right after. He had a new shit haircut and my friend said maybe she cut his hair and we had a laugh about it. I came up with 2 new nicknames for him “fuckhead” and “fuckface” although his friend calls him asshole which is just perfect. I didn’t want to be alone so I texted my friend to come over for moral support.

After my class I wanted to get a small breakfast so I went across the street to the bakery to pick something up. As I am leaving and crossing the road guess who is smiling and saying hi to me – her. We are NOT even friends, even though we all have 1 mutual friend. She never smiles and is always moody, so obviously she has been updated on all this crap. Luckily I am wearing my sunglasses and give her the my resting bitch face and say nothing and move on.

At the bar the vibes were weird coming from them… They looked like brother & sister together or like brother & sister at a funeral. First of all if I had the day off and my girl had the morning/afternoon off, I would take her somewhere special, especially if she is leaving the country in a week or 2. Second, I dunno like WTF, why don’t you show you are interested in this person you are with – everyone there knows about them now anyways. But maybe he wants to look available for the next incoming girl, when this one leaves soon…

My friend arrived and we started drinking, and I got happy drunk and at one point for a long while, all 4 of us were sitting at the bar together; her, him, my guy friend and I at the end. If it was a competition between who was having a better Saturday and more fun, we would have won every hour.

We left a couple of times for food and whatnot and that was noticed too. When we returned the 2nd time, they were gone, finally. Everyone was taking a piss at us, and saying me and my friend are a couple but whatever, I didn’t care. I’m glad he was there for me coz the beach bar wasn’t as busy as usual and I needed someone close to me there to make it through that awful day.

On Sunday my bro came to the rescue and we went to the beach with his girl and I showed him my new fave beach spot. We had a fantastic time and I honestly didn’t wanna leave and go home. My bro’s girl spotted some superhot guy for me, but unfortunately by the time we finished eating at the restaurant area, he was gone. Anyways I had a great time and I started talking to 1 new guy from this place…

I have realized that fuckhead is indeed an asshole and that I deserve better, so kudos to me for moving on finally and cheers to a brand new start! 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SUNDAY: not as much of a funday after all

Sunday started off ok. I saw him early on and was fine with it.

Then after 1-2 hours I saw her and actually felt sorry for her. They work them hard at the beach bar. Saw her carrying heavy ice trays and emptying them and she had a hole on the back of her black tight shorts on the butt. But I mean we all pick our jobs, they don’t pick us, so I shouldn’t feel bad. I spoke to my friends when I got home, and one of them said don’t feel sorry for her and she is right, I shouldn’t.

I still don’t know if the rumor is true but I didn’t want to find out either, although I had the opportunity to.

I just wanted the time to fly by fast and the day to be done.

I was fine up until about 6 or so. After my mood just got weird, but I think it was the combo of not enough sleep, getting my period early in the morning and way too many people came to the beach bar. It was overcrowded and it was too much for me, so I left early. I also couldn’t look at him after anymore. He gave me this look, a good look and it just killed me. I felt like I needed a break from him.

I got home and texted with my girlfriends who made me feel better, but are unfortunately all far away; London and Arizona. What I needed was a Girls Night in with a good comedy or rom com, wine and treats. I watched one of my fave rom com movies and went to sleep after.

 

 

Confused – Part 2

I saw him tonight and I’m confused again. He has been looking at me a lot. You don’t look at someone you don’t like like this. We were standing close to each other too. As I was picking up my bag and beach towel and was ready to leave the beach bar area, he was observing my every move. I noticed that as soon as I left, he left the beach bar area too.

I don’t know what’s up, but I might keep an eye on how he behaves. I didn’t really look at him much, not after that text I sent last night. I completely ignored him tonight. I usually do. I guess from outside it looks like I’m the one that doesn’t give a fuck.

His eyes on me felt good though. I missed his attention. I crave it.
I can’t look at him for too long, I always feel like I’m getting sucked in.

I don’t know how to explain what I was feeling, I just wanted it to continue and I wanted more. As I was leaving, fantasies in my mind started playing…

About Last Night…

I texted him last night “Miss you” but didn’t get a reply back. The truth is I miss him missing me. I went to bed with tears in my eyes. I hit a temporary low.

This morning I’m back to normal and looking forward to a fun weekend. It’s time to move on, but that’s really hard to do when I see him every week.

There are only 2 ways to move on:

  1. When the beach bar closes for the season in 7 weeks – out of sight, out of mind.
  2. If I actually meet a guy I really life

Luckily there’s not a long way to go until the beach bar closes, so after that I won’t see him at all for a while. I honestly felt like I don’t wanna see him at all anymore right now, but unfortunately all my friends are there so I can’t quit the beach bar – I tried that before and it only made me more sad and isolated.

7 weeks then I will try the 30 Day No Contact Rule for real, the right way you are supposed to do it. Meanwhile I want to meet someone new. Fingers crossed…

Weekend Update in short

Friday

I went to the best beach party I’ve ever been to, had a blast, met a lot of people & grabbed my guy’s ass when I drunk & then hid behind my new friend.

Saturday

I enjoyed an entire day at the beach. He was there too for the most part of the day. Saw a fortune teller & she said to not overthink things & just have fun & be playful when it comes to current love life. She also said the decision is all mine since I already have this person – that it was just up to me to say yes or no & lead the way.

Sunday Funday

I arrived late at the party but it was absolutely happening when I got there. Quickly caught up on drinking, met new people & got some free drinks. He was there too. At first he appeared to be having fun but later was more chill, dunno why.

As for me, I was on another level. The entire evening was lit for me & even my body was burning with crazy wild fire of desire for him, as he stood a few feet away from me. We pretend we don’t know each other there. And I absolutely love the secrecy.

I don’t know why I’m feeling amazing right now, but this Sun in Leo phase is defo affecting me for the better. Looking forward to my long holiday starting next week & of course as always the weekend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ex Lover Update

Saturday I went to the beach bar & my ex lover guy wasn’t there. I noticed that my Saturday was different without him. His friend, who is my friend again, who also fancies me, asked me what was going on between us & if we are still seeing each other & all that. I told him that we weren’t together for months now, but the way he was responding back, his gestures & replies just told me that they have been discussing me together. He also asked me about other guys & told me that he saw me make out with that 1 guy that 1 Saturday. He also asked me if I slept with that guy (again I dunno if he is asking for himself or for his friend) & of course I said that nothing happened between us besides that kissing session that 1 Saturday.

Saturday afternoon was just weird vibes & a lot of people, the regulars weren’t there, and the music wasn’t great. It was this monotonous repetitive sounds and beats that didn’t have much life to it, so of course my energy was down a bit. Luckily my guy friends came over there & I chilled with them for a bit & we all enjoyed a drink & talked.

Later after they left, I got a bit bored & got ready to go to the Music Festival for some awesome House music. When I got there, I saw my guy & was pretty happy to find him there. He said hi to me. His friend was there too now. We walked over together to my ex lover’s table and some of his close guy friends I hadn’t met yet were there too. Now things got a bit weird, because his friend said something like “your ex boyfriend is here (pointing at my guy) and your new boyfriend is here” he meant himself, as a joke of course coz they do that apparently, but it wasn’t funny & since I didn’t know the guys at the table, I didn’t want to to make any comments.

Neither one of us denied that he was my ex. But thing got even more weird when his friend said that I was his girlfriend, as a joke again. My guy’s reaction wasn’t good. He raised his voice & said “YOUR GIRLFRIEND?” & repeated it again, and as he was saying this you could tell that he was a bit pissed off & wasn’t happy about it. I’m not sure how he didn’t get that this was of course just a joke, especially since his friend told me that he always does that to him with girls he goes out with. I said something like “guys please just stop” coz it was embarrassing & didn’t make me look god regardless if it was true or not. You see I don’t screw the crew – I have a code: Pick 1 guy & all his friends & co-workers are off limits. We talked about this before & I told him about it. I then walked off with his friend & told him that I didn’t like that & because I saw my guy looking our way I gestured with my hands too so he knows I wasn’t happy about what just went down.

Anyways the Music Festival was a blast & I had a great time there. On Sunday he was at the beach bar and I saw him look my way & I looked away, but then looked back at him & he was still looking at me, so I looked at him too. It was one of those ok I’m interested in this person again a bit sort of looks for both of us. Sunday was a bit weird for me but it was still fun. I somehow managed to get a new love interest, not on my side, but a guy interested in me that I’m totally not interested in.

On Monday night I had a giant glass of red wine & texted him late in the evening saying that we should have fun again sometime. On Tuesday since I didn’t get a morning reply, I was starting to think that I won’t get one & that was ok too. Just as I completely moved on from it, I got his text at lunch break from him that he would like that too. This made me excited which is nice. This time around it’s just the icing on my cake, whereas before he was my cake. So I think things will be different for me now since I’m already happy. I am very much looking forward to seeing him again. I think we will have a lot of fun together. Stay tuned for more 🙂

 

Thursday Night

Last night I had a glass of red again & unlike Wednesday night I did not text my ex lover. As usual he liked a bunch of my Instagram pics (weekly thing) that usually happens on Monday morning around 9am or Tuesday at the latest, but this week was different. He is either very busy with work or a new person in his life or both.

It’s F R I D A Y & I’m excited for this weekend! Tomorrow morning I have a 10am workout class to go to, then swimming, lunch (at the beach) more swimming & then a music festival with my friends and I’m not sure yet but I might even go to the after party. Just gonna go with the flow & if the flow is good, I continue.

Sunday Funday again beach & music festival – should be fun!

Wishing everyone a very happy & fun weekend ahead! XOXO