Time for a New Man or New Project

If you look at the top right corner of my blog page you will notice a new page: The British Fuckhead

Here you will find ALL posts from Guy No 1 Experiment. Unfortunately none of them are interesting to me now since this was after we ended things & we never really started again, so I’m closing this book instead of starting a new re-read chapter.

Right now only the MAY month blog posts are there, but every day I’ll try and add 1 month. Luckily there are only 4 months so should be fast page upgrade.

Looking forward to a fresh new start. Of course now we need a new target, but meanwhile I will start updates on other goals like weight loss, diet changes, fitness changes etc…

 

 

 

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Back to Normal…

I texted him…you know when you just need some lame excuse to say something so you can text in hopes of maybe making the situation better, well I tried for that & it worked because we were back to fun & flirting…

He said I was being stupid (he is referring to my Week of D R A M A post) & that I owe him one, I admit to being a bit stupid & say he owes me 1 too.

He wanted me to send him a hot photo, I said no you send, he said I’ll send if you send bla bla but I was busy so I told him I’ll surprise you which didn’t work lol then I told him I would for fucking sure if I could & left him hanging at Why can’t you?

But before that he asked where I was & I honestly should have replied with “playing checkers w/ your g/f & guess who’s winning” total inside joke relating to this August Wednesday & more details on that Wed here

Anyways back to the naughty photo. I was texting with 1 of my girlfriends & was telling her how I miss the fun sexy side of him & then came up with random hot photo idea which is also a prank in a way.

just friends.jpg

I saw these & told my friend I would order them & them take a sexy photo & send it to him. Another joke really about him saying we are just friends a few weeks ago…if he was a good boy I would totally order these below, but he doesn’t deserve! 😂😂😂

EYHO

My friend said I nave a naughty side to me, I replied the right kind of asshole bring it out of me…

Anyways I was pretty happy all night & was amazed at how quickly he could turn me on. I defo miss all the fun & sexy parts of what we used to have. Was thinking recently I wish I started blogging when this all started over a year ago coz there’s so much more to it…

If you wanna order any of the above items you can do that here: NO BRA CLUB They have a cool split installation payment plan option too.

 

 

Oh Monday…

I hate you…

Actually Monday was fine, apart from this:

I text him this morning via only app I haven’t blocked him on [Snapchat] – mainly because I didn’t even have it on my phone at the time… and I say I want us to be cool…

He is angry at me for stupid shit we went over already & honestly right now I have still overall more reason than him to be angry, but I hate anger & never see the point in holding onto to it. Last time we texted, I wanted to explode at him, but I took the higher road…

Anyways we texted morning/afternoon & he was mostly angry while I was cooler. That’s not even the issue – the issue is it’s the middle of the night & I can’t sleep coz that fuckhead & his anger is eating away at me…

I can’t get him/that off my mind. My current insomnia thoughts are, text him tomorrow/next day & ask if he wants to talk in person. I just want peace & nothing else.

 

2 weeks w/out him

I was expecting her to be gone by now, but she’s still here and it’s annoying the shit out of me to have to see her face every week.

I want to text him this coming week and tell him I want to make up. Test and see where he is at.

I’m not meeting anyone new, so I still think about him. I know I have a better chance if I text him after she leaves, but I have no idea when she is leaving.

 

Keep Calm, You have been Blocked

On Sunday I didn’t go to the beach bar & it was a great decision. We had another fight via texts & it wasn’t good. I pretty much told him to leave me the hell alone. But I’ve also had enough so I blocked him on ALL Social Media accounts and on my phone. I think he took it seriously this time…

Today he wasn’t at the beach bar which is very odd for him. Hopefully it’s because he knows I hate his guts and don’t want to see his fucking face. I saw her for 5 minutes but then she left too.

She is leaving this coming week I think so it will be nice not to see them again. I don’t think I’m going to the beach bar tomorrow. He gave me my Saturday so I’ll give him his Sunday. Feels like a bad divorce with him now and splitting the beach bar between us.

I am not sure when this anger will stop, but I don’t see it going away anytime soon. Oddly enough I do think about how nice it would be to make up with him but Iam also not gonna forgive and forget so easily this time around.

I cancelled my date today with this 25 year old child because honestly I know already this isn’t for me. I want a real man now and definitely older. I am thinking 35-40 would be a perfect age range for me.

I am looking forward to the next month. It will be the last month at the beach bar and then comes Fall. I am so done with this hot weather. Very much over it. Can’t wait for October to come. – It will be the best!

 

The Week of D R A M A

I spent the entire week away, apart from Saturday because my fitness class was at the beach bar.

The first few days were the hardest… Tuesday & Wednesday were full of drama…

I asked him again if he was seeing this new girl, and he didn’t reply. So of course I asked our mutual friend, but before I do, I tell him that it would be stupid for me to ask other people…He didn not respond to that.

She says yes, they are and asks why… But then says you and he had something? She had no idea! I thought maybe she knew but wasn’t sure… So I give her the entire story briefly and she is a bit shocked coz she says that she thinks they are close.

  • Basically she told me that she would never get involved with a guy like him.
  • That he isn’t boyfriend material
  • That this girl is leaving in 2 weeks

and we talked about some other things, but really it’s all unimportant now.

So since I was on my summer holiday and had a break from work, I actually managed to find a new paradise beach escape where I spent the entire week away. It was exactly what I needed.

He texted me after he talked to this mutual friend, and basically we had a fight over texts. He said it was none of my business and that I am not his family and don’t need to know. I said of course it’s my business when we agreed to start seeing each other again and then he changed plans and didn’t let me know it wasn’t gonna happen. I told him and our friend, that if you aren’t interested, you just inform the other person that you met someone new and that, that is the adult thing to do and not a big deal. Once I spoke to our mutual friend, I was over it. He didn’t let it go, and was fussing over texts…

In his last messages he asked why I was telling people things, and why am saying things that aren’t true and asked what my problem was and told me that I am embarrassing him in front of everyone. I was over it, so I ignored him and did not reply. But my inner thoughts were why wasn’t he telling people the truth and what the heck is his problem acting like a manchild and not an adult, but again I was over it so whatever. After some days and time away I finally replied last night:

All good, all behind us
Don’t wanna fight w you, not worth it

He has a girl, he is supposed to be happy, so he should leave me alone now.

cant see you

Anyways I spent all week away and I wasn’t alone. I was in good company and it was exactly what I needed. On Friday I started getting this anger just thinking about seeing him tomorrow at the beach bar…

On Saturday I was there for my Zumba class and I saw him at the bar right after. He had a new shit haircut and my friend said maybe she cut his hair and we had a laugh about it. I came up with 2 new nicknames for him “fuckhead” and “fuckface” although his friend calls him asshole which is just perfect. I didn’t want to be alone so I texted my friend to come over for moral support.

After my class I wanted to get a small breakfast so I went across the street to the bakery to pick something up. As I am leaving and crossing the road guess who is smiling and saying hi to me – her. We are NOT even friends, even though we all have 1 mutual friend. She never smiles and is always moody, so obviously she has been updated on all this crap. Luckily I am wearing my sunglasses and give her the my resting bitch face and say nothing and move on.

At the bar the vibes were weird coming from them… They looked like brother & sister together or like brother & sister at a funeral. First of all if I had the day off and my girl had the morning/afternoon off, I would take her somewhere special, especially if she is leaving the country in a week or 2. Second, I dunno like WTF, why don’t you show you are interested in this person you are with – everyone there knows about them now anyways. But maybe he wants to look available for the next incoming girl, when this one leaves soon…

My friend arrived and we started drinking, and I got happy drunk and at one point for a long while, all 4 of us were sitting at the bar together; her, him, my guy friend and I at the end. If it was a competition between who was having a better Saturday and more fun, we would have won every hour.

We left a couple of times for food and whatnot and that was noticed too. When we returned the 2nd time, they were gone, finally. Everyone was taking a piss at us, and saying me and my friend are a couple but whatever, I didn’t care. I’m glad he was there for me coz the beach bar wasn’t as busy as usual and I needed someone close to me there to make it through that awful day.

On Sunday my bro came to the rescue and we went to the beach with his girl and I showed him my new fave beach spot. We had a fantastic time and I honestly didn’t wanna leave and go home. My bro’s girl spotted some superhot guy for me, but unfortunately by the time we finished eating at the restaurant area, he was gone. Anyways I had a great time and I started talking to 1 new guy from this place…

I have realized that fuckhead is indeed an asshole and that I deserve better, so kudos to me for moving on finally and cheers to a brand new start! 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

M O N D A Y

Pretty sure he took the day off today as it’s his birthday, so I’m avoiding the beach bar today, and tomorrow too, as I know he will be there for sure. Instead I made different plans and a change of scenery will do me good.

I didn’t think sending him a happy birthday text would be a good idea, but fuck it, I’m not a dick, so I did. If he doesn’t respond with a thank you, then obviously he’s a dick.

It’s time to take this useless energy and invest it solely in me again, and be very, very, selfish in my decisions, to protect my own happiness and cultivate it. That’s what I’m doing this week and I know this is for the best.

I’m still focusing on weight loss and working out and so far I’ve lost about 7 lbs. It’s a very slow process but it’s working and the weight is staying off. I am losing about 2.2 lbs a month, so it’s slow but steady. My goal is to tone and tighten and I have the drive and the patience for it.

My favorite workouts are swimming and Zumba right now during these hot summer months. Unfortunately it’s been pretty windy, so there are always waves in the water which is very annoying while swimming but I still do it. Zumba I love because it’s a group workout, and you really burn a lot of calories during this 1 hour group session, and it also makes you so happy as dancing is fun and the music is great.

Looking forward to this awesome week off of fun, sun, sea and relaxation. XOXO

UPDATE: He texted me to thank me for the birthday wishes. So he isn’t a complete dick after all but he might be a dick regardless, who knows… I’m gonna quietly remove myself from this situation and let pieces fall where they may because I have my own life to live.

Another guy, a new guy likes me and this of course has given me some power back, but I’m not interested in him, only as a friend, but still it’s always nice to be desired.

UPDATE #2: My friend who is also his friend specifically asked me What about you and (his name) and if anything was going on now……. I haven’t talked to her about him in months, so I was surprised that she brought him up, especially since last time when we couldn’t get together we moved on from that convo and topic for good. Hmm has he said anything to her about me? Perhaps but I’m thinking highly unlikely… Interesting…