Update on “this guy”

I know I said I would talk about something else and don’t worry I’m about to get into that, and yes I’m still on the lookout for a new man but I also think it’s only right to keep writing updates on this past guy since there are still some updates there.

We texted almost every day this week, but just briefly. Basically he wants to see me again and told me to let him know when I’m ready for that. I said ok.

Last night I found out from his friend that he isn’t dating that girl anymore. She basically started with: “Do you know that X & Y aren’t together anymore?” “I said I don’t care.” She wanted to know what happened with us, how long it’s been going for, all the details, I already told her in short what happened via texts recently when I asked her if he’s dating that girl, so I’m not sure why she asked me again. I told her to ask him, and she said he will never tell me, and I said “Exactly!”

After that conversation I felt same as him in regards to that, as in I really didn’t wanna talk about us (again) to people. It’s nobody’s business but ours, but of course I let my closest friends know about it because what are friends for after all.

There was 1 very strange incident that happened last night that I noticed but didn’t care about – As we were sitting at the bar, drinking and talking with people, she flipped my phone cover to check the front of my phone……Who does that?? My thought was maybe she is texting with his ex girl and updating her about me, and was looking to find texts from him on my phone. You see she is friends with the recent ex, but she did also said I don’t care about her friendship recently, but I’m not sure how much of that is true.

So I’m just a bit cautious now because I don’t really know what’s going on. Maybe he and this girl broke up 3 weeks ago since she came alone to the bar last 2 Saturdays. Maybe they are in a long distance relationship now and made plans to see each other soon. I’m not sure because I haven’t asked anyone, not even him.

I did however post this as my FB status a few days ago: “I wonder if your girlfriend knows that you are still texting me – she must approve, I would too 😂” and of course I set it as a public post coz I got nothing to hide. My guess is by then they were already broken up though, but again, who knows…

That’s that for now. Next blog post will be on a lot of other things.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Keep Calm, You have been Blocked

On Sunday I didn’t go to the beach bar & it was a great decision. We had another fight via texts & it wasn’t good. I pretty much told him to leave me the hell alone. But I’ve also had enough so I blocked him on ALL Social Media accounts and on my phone. I think he took it seriously this time…

Today he wasn’t at the beach bar which is very odd for him. Hopefully it’s because he knows I hate his guts and don’t want to see his fucking face. I saw her for 5 minutes but then she left too.

She is leaving this coming week I think so it will be nice not to see them again. I don’t think I’m going to the beach bar tomorrow. He gave me my Saturday so I’ll give him his Sunday. Feels like a bad divorce with him now and splitting the beach bar between us.

I am not sure when this anger will stop, but I don’t see it going away anytime soon. Oddly enough I do think about how nice it would be to make up with him but Iam also not gonna forgive and forget so easily this time around.

I cancelled my date today with this 25 year old child because honestly I know already this isn’t for me. I want a real man now and definitely older. I am thinking 35-40 would be a perfect age range for me.

I am looking forward to the next month. It will be the last month at the beach bar and then comes Fall. I am so done with this hot weather. Very much over it. Can’t wait for October to come. – It will be the best!

 

The Week of D R A M A

I spent the entire week away, apart from Saturday because my fitness class was at the beach bar.

The first few days were the hardest… Tuesday & Wednesday were full of drama…

I asked him again if he was seeing this new girl, and he didn’t reply. So of course I asked our mutual friend, but before I do, I tell him that it would be stupid for me to ask other people…He didn not respond to that.

She says yes, they are and asks why… But then says you and he had something? She had no idea! I thought maybe she knew but wasn’t sure… So I give her the entire story briefly and she is a bit shocked coz she says that she thinks they are close.

  • Basically she told me that she would never get involved with a guy like him.
  • That he isn’t boyfriend material
  • That this girl is leaving in 2 weeks

and we talked about some other things, but really it’s all unimportant now.

So since I was on my summer holiday and had a break from work, I actually managed to find a new paradise beach escape where I spent the entire week away. It was exactly what I needed.

He texted me after he talked to this mutual friend, and basically we had a fight over texts. He said it was none of my business and that I am not his family and don’t need to know. I said of course it’s my business when we agreed to start seeing each other again and then he changed plans and didn’t let me know it wasn’t gonna happen. I told him and our friend, that if you aren’t interested, you just inform the other person that you met someone new and that, that is the adult thing to do and not a big deal. Once I spoke to our mutual friend, I was over it. He didn’t let it go, and was fussing over texts…

In his last messages he asked why I was telling people things, and why am saying things that aren’t true and asked what my problem was and told me that I am embarrassing him in front of everyone. I was over it, so I ignored him and did not reply. But my inner thoughts were why wasn’t he telling people the truth and what the heck is his problem acting like a manchild and not an adult, but again I was over it so whatever. After some days and time away I finally replied last night:

All good, all behind us
Don’t wanna fight w you, not worth it

He has a girl, he is supposed to be happy, so he should leave me alone now.

cant see you

Anyways I spent all week away and I wasn’t alone. I was in good company and it was exactly what I needed. On Friday I started getting this anger just thinking about seeing him tomorrow at the beach bar…

On Saturday I was there for my Zumba class and I saw him at the bar right after. He had a new shit haircut and my friend said maybe she cut his hair and we had a laugh about it. I came up with 2 new nicknames for him “fuckhead” and “fuckface” although his friend calls him asshole which is just perfect. I didn’t want to be alone so I texted my friend to come over for moral support.

After my class I wanted to get a small breakfast so I went across the street to the bakery to pick something up. As I am leaving and crossing the road guess who is smiling and saying hi to me – her. We are NOT even friends, even though we all have 1 mutual friend. She never smiles and is always moody, so obviously she has been updated on all this crap. Luckily I am wearing my sunglasses and give her the my resting bitch face and say nothing and move on.

At the bar the vibes were weird coming from them… They looked like brother & sister together or like brother & sister at a funeral. First of all if I had the day off and my girl had the morning/afternoon off, I would take her somewhere special, especially if she is leaving the country in a week or 2. Second, I dunno like WTF, why don’t you show you are interested in this person you are with – everyone there knows about them now anyways. But maybe he wants to look available for the next incoming girl, when this one leaves soon…

My friend arrived and we started drinking, and I got happy drunk and at one point for a long while, all 4 of us were sitting at the bar together; her, him, my guy friend and I at the end. If it was a competition between who was having a better Saturday and more fun, we would have won every hour.

We left a couple of times for food and whatnot and that was noticed too. When we returned the 2nd time, they were gone, finally. Everyone was taking a piss at us, and saying me and my friend are a couple but whatever, I didn’t care. I’m glad he was there for me coz the beach bar wasn’t as busy as usual and I needed someone close to me there to make it through that awful day.

On Sunday my bro came to the rescue and we went to the beach with his girl and I showed him my new fave beach spot. We had a fantastic time and I honestly didn’t wanna leave and go home. My bro’s girl spotted some superhot guy for me, but unfortunately by the time we finished eating at the restaurant area, he was gone. Anyways I had a great time and I started talking to 1 new guy from this place…

I have realized that fuckhead is indeed an asshole and that I deserve better, so kudos to me for moving on finally and cheers to a brand new start! 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

M O N D A Y

Pretty sure he took the day off today as it’s his birthday, so I’m avoiding the beach bar today, and tomorrow too, as I know he will be there for sure. Instead I made different plans and a change of scenery will do me good.

I didn’t think sending him a happy birthday text would be a good idea, but fuck it, I’m not a dick, so I did. If he doesn’t respond with a thank you, then obviously he’s a dick.

It’s time to take this useless energy and invest it solely in me again, and be very, very, selfish in my decisions, to protect my own happiness and cultivate it. That’s what I’m doing this week and I know this is for the best.

I’m still focusing on weight loss and working out and so far I’ve lost about 7 lbs. It’s a very slow process but it’s working and the weight is staying off. I am losing about 2.2 lbs a month, so it’s slow but steady. My goal is to tone and tighten and I have the drive and the patience for it.

My favorite workouts are swimming and Zumba right now during these hot summer months. Unfortunately it’s been pretty windy, so there are always waves in the water which is very annoying while swimming but I still do it. Zumba I love because it’s a group workout, and you really burn a lot of calories during this 1 hour group session, and it also makes you so happy as dancing is fun and the music is great.

Looking forward to this awesome week off of fun, sun, sea and relaxation. XOXO

UPDATE: He texted me to thank me for the birthday wishes. So he isn’t a complete dick after all but he might be a dick regardless, who knows… I’m gonna quietly remove myself from this situation and let pieces fall where they may because I have my own life to live.

Another guy, a new guy likes me and this of course has given me some power back, but I’m not interested in him, only as a friend, but still it’s always nice to be desired.

UPDATE #2: My friend who is also his friend specifically asked me What about you and (his name) and if anything was going on now……. I haven’t talked to her about him in months, so I was surprised that she brought him up, especially since last time when we couldn’t get together we moved on from that convo and topic for good. Hmm has he said anything to her about me? Perhaps but I’m thinking highly unlikely… Interesting…

 

 

SUNDAY: not as much of a funday after all

Sunday started off ok. I saw him early on and was fine with it.

Then after 1-2 hours I saw her and actually felt sorry for her. They work them hard at the beach bar. Saw her carrying heavy ice trays and emptying them and she had a hole on the back of her black tight shorts on the butt. But I mean we all pick our jobs, they don’t pick us, so I shouldn’t feel bad. I spoke to my friends when I got home, and one of them said don’t feel sorry for her and she is right, I shouldn’t.

I still don’t know if the rumor is true but I didn’t want to find out either, although I had the opportunity to.

I just wanted the time to fly by fast and the day to be done.

I was fine up until about 6 or so. After my mood just got weird, but I think it was the combo of not enough sleep, getting my period early in the morning and way too many people came to the beach bar. It was overcrowded and it was too much for me, so I left early. I also couldn’t look at him after anymore. He gave me this look, a good look and it just killed me. I felt like I needed a break from him.

I got home and texted with my girlfriends who made me feel better, but are unfortunately all far away; London and Arizona. What I needed was a Girls Night in with a good comedy or rom com, wine and treats. I watched one of my fave rom com movies and went to sleep after.

 

 

Not the Update I was looking for…

I think I found out what that recent change in behavior was all about. I have noticed that he has been spending some time with one of the beach bar servers… I didn’t think too deeply into it at first because this girl is moody and never smiles and has this sort of energy around her that just isn’t a pleasant happy one.

On my day off and his day off too, on Wednesday when I got to the beach bar, he was there chatting with her, just casual convo, something about one of his life experiences, sharing some info with her and then he asked her if she knows how to play Checkers and they played a game together.

Last weekend, I also saw a video online of them out with other mutual friends after work and yes a thought of maybe something is happening/could happen here has crossed my mind but then again I know they are all friends and hang out so I didn’t think too much of it.

Also today I saw them chatting at the beach bar for a bit.

I saw something online a few hours ago, a video of both of them at the beach bar and the person that shared the video basically wrote that they are starting a romance together or whatever and that it’s new and that it’s a secret. Of course now I can’t sleep……

I texted and asked if she was his girlfriend…. Because I have to know, I don’t know why, but I do. And I feel this urgency to know if it’s real ASAP. Hopefully I get some sleep tonight. I will see them both at the beach bar tomorrow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Confused – Part 2

I saw him tonight and I’m confused again. He has been looking at me a lot. You don’t look at someone you don’t like like this. We were standing close to each other too. As I was picking up my bag and beach towel and was ready to leave the beach bar area, he was observing my every move. I noticed that as soon as I left, he left the beach bar area too.

I don’t know what’s up, but I might keep an eye on how he behaves. I didn’t really look at him much, not after that text I sent last night. I completely ignored him tonight. I usually do. I guess from outside it looks like I’m the one that doesn’t give a fuck.

His eyes on me felt good though. I missed his attention. I crave it.
I can’t look at him for too long, I always feel like I’m getting sucked in.

I don’t know how to explain what I was feeling, I just wanted it to continue and I wanted more. As I was leaving, fantasies in my mind started playing…