Back to Normal…

I texted him…you know when you just need some lame excuse to say something so you can text in hopes of maybe making the situation better, well I tried for that & it worked because we were back to fun & flirting…

He said I was being stupid (he is referring to my Week of D R A M A post) & that I owe him one, I admit to being a bit stupid & say he owes me 1 too.

He wanted me to send him a hot photo, I said no you send, he said I’ll send if you send bla bla but I was busy so I told him I’ll surprise you which didn’t work lol then I told him I would for fucking sure if I could & left him hanging at Why can’t you?

But before that he asked where I was & I honestly should have replied with “playing checkers w/ your g/f & guess who’s winning” total inside joke relating to this August Wednesday & more details on that Wed here

Anyways back to the naughty photo. I was texting with 1 of my girlfriends & was telling her how I miss the fun sexy side of him & then came up with random hot photo idea which is also a prank in a way.

just friends.jpg

I saw these & told my friend I would order them & them take a sexy photo & send it to him. Another joke really about him saying we are just friends a few weeks ago…if he was a good boy I would totally order these below, but he doesn’t deserve! 😂😂😂

EYHO

My friend said I nave a naughty side to me, I replied the right kind of asshole bring it out of me…

Anyways I was pretty happy all night & was amazed at how quickly he could turn me on. I defo miss all the fun & sexy parts of what we used to have. Was thinking recently I wish I started blogging when this all started over a year ago coz there’s so much more to it…

If you wanna order any of the above items you can do that here: NO BRA CLUB They have a cool split installation payment plan option too.

 

 

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Oh Monday…

I hate you…

Actually Monday was fine, apart from this:

I text him this morning via only app I haven’t blocked him on [Snapchat] – mainly because I didn’t even have it on my phone at the time… and I say I want us to be cool…

He is angry at me for stupid shit we went over already & honestly right now I have still overall more reason than him to be angry, but I hate anger & never see the point in holding onto to it. Last time we texted, I wanted to explode at him, but I took the higher road…

Anyways we texted morning/afternoon & he was mostly angry while I was cooler. That’s not even the issue – the issue is it’s the middle of the night & I can’t sleep coz that fuckhead & his anger is eating away at me…

I can’t get him/that off my mind. My current insomnia thoughts are, text him tomorrow/next day & ask if he wants to talk in person. I just want peace & nothing else.

 

The Week of D R A M A

I spent the entire week away, apart from Saturday because my fitness class was at the beach bar.

The first few days were the hardest… Tuesday & Wednesday were full of drama…

I asked him again if he was seeing this new girl, and he didn’t reply. So of course I asked our mutual friend, but before I do, I tell him that it would be stupid for me to ask other people…He didn not respond to that.

She says yes, they are and asks why… But then says you and he had something? She had no idea! I thought maybe she knew but wasn’t sure… So I give her the entire story briefly and she is a bit shocked coz she says that she thinks they are close.

  • Basically she told me that she would never get involved with a guy like him.
  • That he isn’t boyfriend material
  • That this girl is leaving in 2 weeks

and we talked about some other things, but really it’s all unimportant now.

So since I was on my summer holiday and had a break from work, I actually managed to find a new paradise beach escape where I spent the entire week away. It was exactly what I needed.

He texted me after he talked to this mutual friend, and basically we had a fight over texts. He said it was none of my business and that I am not his family and don’t need to know. I said of course it’s my business when we agreed to start seeing each other again and then he changed plans and didn’t let me know it wasn’t gonna happen. I told him and our friend, that if you aren’t interested, you just inform the other person that you met someone new and that, that is the adult thing to do and not a big deal. Once I spoke to our mutual friend, I was over it. He didn’t let it go, and was fussing over texts…

In his last messages he asked why I was telling people things, and why am saying things that aren’t true and asked what my problem was and told me that I am embarrassing him in front of everyone. I was over it, so I ignored him and did not reply. But my inner thoughts were why wasn’t he telling people the truth and what the heck is his problem acting like a manchild and not an adult, but again I was over it so whatever. After some days and time away I finally replied last night:

All good, all behind us
Don’t wanna fight w you, not worth it

He has a girl, he is supposed to be happy, so he should leave me alone now.

cant see you

Anyways I spent all week away and I wasn’t alone. I was in good company and it was exactly what I needed. On Friday I started getting this anger just thinking about seeing him tomorrow at the beach bar…

On Saturday I was there for my Zumba class and I saw him at the bar right after. He had a new shit haircut and my friend said maybe she cut his hair and we had a laugh about it. I came up with 2 new nicknames for him “fuckhead” and “fuckface” although his friend calls him asshole which is just perfect. I didn’t want to be alone so I texted my friend to come over for moral support.

After my class I wanted to get a small breakfast so I went across the street to the bakery to pick something up. As I am leaving and crossing the road guess who is smiling and saying hi to me – her. We are NOT even friends, even though we all have 1 mutual friend. She never smiles and is always moody, so obviously she has been updated on all this crap. Luckily I am wearing my sunglasses and give her the my resting bitch face and say nothing and move on.

At the bar the vibes were weird coming from them… They looked like brother & sister together or like brother & sister at a funeral. First of all if I had the day off and my girl had the morning/afternoon off, I would take her somewhere special, especially if she is leaving the country in a week or 2. Second, I dunno like WTF, why don’t you show you are interested in this person you are with – everyone there knows about them now anyways. But maybe he wants to look available for the next incoming girl, when this one leaves soon…

My friend arrived and we started drinking, and I got happy drunk and at one point for a long while, all 4 of us were sitting at the bar together; her, him, my guy friend and I at the end. If it was a competition between who was having a better Saturday and more fun, we would have won every hour.

We left a couple of times for food and whatnot and that was noticed too. When we returned the 2nd time, they were gone, finally. Everyone was taking a piss at us, and saying me and my friend are a couple but whatever, I didn’t care. I’m glad he was there for me coz the beach bar wasn’t as busy as usual and I needed someone close to me there to make it through that awful day.

On Sunday my bro came to the rescue and we went to the beach with his girl and I showed him my new fave beach spot. We had a fantastic time and I honestly didn’t wanna leave and go home. My bro’s girl spotted some superhot guy for me, but unfortunately by the time we finished eating at the restaurant area, he was gone. Anyways I had a great time and I started talking to 1 new guy from this place…

I have realized that fuckhead is indeed an asshole and that I deserve better, so kudos to me for moving on finally and cheers to a brand new start! 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

M O N D A Y

Pretty sure he took the day off today as it’s his birthday, so I’m avoiding the beach bar today, and tomorrow too, as I know he will be there for sure. Instead I made different plans and a change of scenery will do me good.

I didn’t think sending him a happy birthday text would be a good idea, but fuck it, I’m not a dick, so I did. If he doesn’t respond with a thank you, then obviously he’s a dick.

It’s time to take this useless energy and invest it solely in me again, and be very, very, selfish in my decisions, to protect my own happiness and cultivate it. That’s what I’m doing this week and I know this is for the best.

I’m still focusing on weight loss and working out and so far I’ve lost about 7 lbs. It’s a very slow process but it’s working and the weight is staying off. I am losing about 2.2 lbs a month, so it’s slow but steady. My goal is to tone and tighten and I have the drive and the patience for it.

My favorite workouts are swimming and Zumba right now during these hot summer months. Unfortunately it’s been pretty windy, so there are always waves in the water which is very annoying while swimming but I still do it. Zumba I love because it’s a group workout, and you really burn a lot of calories during this 1 hour group session, and it also makes you so happy as dancing is fun and the music is great.

Looking forward to this awesome week off of fun, sun, sea and relaxation. XOXO

UPDATE: He texted me to thank me for the birthday wishes. So he isn’t a complete dick after all but he might be a dick regardless, who knows… I’m gonna quietly remove myself from this situation and let pieces fall where they may because I have my own life to live.

Another guy, a new guy likes me and this of course has given me some power back, but I’m not interested in him, only as a friend, but still it’s always nice to be desired.

UPDATE #2: My friend who is also his friend specifically asked me What about you and (his name) and if anything was going on now……. I haven’t talked to her about him in months, so I was surprised that she brought him up, especially since last time when we couldn’t get together we moved on from that convo and topic for good. Hmm has he said anything to her about me? Perhaps but I’m thinking highly unlikely… Interesting…

 

 

Not the Update I was looking for…

I think I found out what that recent change in behavior was all about. I have noticed that he has been spending some time with one of the beach bar servers… I didn’t think too deeply into it at first because this girl is moody and never smiles and has this sort of energy around her that just isn’t a pleasant happy one.

On my day off and his day off too, on Wednesday when I got to the beach bar, he was there chatting with her, just casual convo, something about one of his life experiences, sharing some info with her and then he asked her if she knows how to play Checkers and they played a game together.

Last weekend, I also saw a video online of them out with other mutual friends after work and yes a thought of maybe something is happening/could happen here has crossed my mind but then again I know they are all friends and hang out so I didn’t think too much of it.

Also today I saw them chatting at the beach bar for a bit.

I saw something online a few hours ago, a video of both of them at the beach bar and the person that shared the video basically wrote that they are starting a romance together or whatever and that it’s new and that it’s a secret. Of course now I can’t sleep……

I texted and asked if she was his girlfriend…. Because I have to know, I don’t know why, but I do. And I feel this urgency to know if it’s real ASAP. Hopefully I get some sleep tonight. I will see them both at the beach bar tomorrow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

About Last Night…

I texted him last night “Miss you” but didn’t get a reply back. The truth is I miss him missing me. I went to bed with tears in my eyes. I hit a temporary low.

This morning I’m back to normal and looking forward to a fun weekend. It’s time to move on, but that’s really hard to do when I see him every week.

There are only 2 ways to move on:

  1. When the beach bar closes for the season in 7 weeks – out of sight, out of mind.
  2. If I actually meet a guy I really life

Luckily there’s not a long way to go until the beach bar closes, so after that I won’t see him at all for a while. I honestly felt like I don’t wanna see him at all anymore right now, but unfortunately all my friends are there so I can’t quit the beach bar – I tried that before and it only made me more sad and isolated.

7 weeks then I will try the 30 Day No Contact Rule for real, the right way you are supposed to do it. Meanwhile I want to meet someone new. Fingers crossed…

C O N F U S E D

I am a bit confused at the moment… I told my guy last week that I have today off & he agreed he wanted to see me. But the closer we got to my day off, the more I felt like there was something in the way again – not sure what.

Today I sent him hot pic but no reply, now that’s off – very weird. I thought ok he is with someone, that’s the only explanation that makes sense to me. So I get to my beach bar & guess who is there enjoying their day off too? Yup, him.

Nothing happened today. We did our separate things. I met a cute navy guy, we kissed a little & he gave me a cool gift.

Last weekend he was checking me out on Friday during a party while I was making new friends, 2 new guys I met. Saturday he was starring at me, dunno why but I caught him several times. Even his grandpa who visited the beach bar for an hour or 2 was checking me out, funny. On Sunday nothing happened, did our own thing.

I honestly got excited about seeing him again up until he started acting strange. Ahhh also his very close friend found out last weekend that we were hooking up via another friend & he actually didn’t believe it. Not sure why exactly.

Right now, I’m gonna leave it alone. I honestly believe if a guy wants you, he will go get you. Men are hunters, it’s how they roll. Meanwhile I’m gonna keep meeting new people & keep making new friends.